What You Say Really Does Matter

Have you ever spoken unkindly to someone?

Did the words profoundly affect that person? 

Words are powerful; and when they are used to hurt someone, they can be devastating. 

 The words you speak and the things you say do have a huge affect not only on yourself, but others as well.  Yes, what you say really does matter.

Have you ever called yourself stupid, dumb, idiot?

Have you berated yourself in front of the mirror because you feel fat? 

Do you realize every word you say is being processed by your subconscious and, in some cases, imbeds itself there?  Thus, it begins to seep into your conscious self and the feelings of self-worth begin to dissipate.

What you say ultimately translates into eventual belief.  If you utter to yourself, “I’m not very good at soccer,” you will never succeed in that sport.  You are setting up a defeatist attitude even before you begin.  When you begin a thought or a sentence with a negative word, your expectations can never be realized. 

So too, you may call someone an idiot. While you may apologize, the word has already been spoken; you can’t take it back.  The person on the receiving end of the insult may take it to heart, and can be changed forever.  We live in a world where words are used to attack, cajole, embrace, nurture, disengage, provoke and inspire. We not only hurt ourselves, we hurt others as well.  Anger, frustration, and disappointment contribute to the misuse of words.  Even though the aftermath of unkind words are realized, we still do it.  Perhaps the old adage is true, “If you can’t say something nice, then don’t say anything at all.” 

It is important to realize the affect words have on us. Whether we mean to say them or not, said often enough they can transform the very essence of who we are.  Children are especially vulnerable to words.  Yet, we continue to use unkind and often insensitive words as a disciplinary measure.  Eventually, they grow up with low self-esteem, or painfully shy, or feel they are worth anything at all.

The next time you speak, think about the words you are about to impart.  Choose them wisely when speaking to your peers, and cautiously when speaking to children.  Understand that one word can positively or negatively affect someone’s life; even your own.

Positive Thinking: A Powerful Tool

Have you ever met someone who was so positive about life, you wish you felt that way as well? You can. 

Positive thinking is a powerful tool. 

Our minds control all of our thought processes and can be the catalyst for living a happy and positive existence or live life with a doom and gloom attitude.

Here are several ways to not only improve your mindset, but your life as well.

• If you are faced with a negative thought, change it to a positive one. Remember the movie, “Pollyanna?”  Her father taught her the “glad game.” She encouraged the town to find things to be glad about. Eventually, they did and were happier than ever before.
• Surround your life with positive people. Go to events which bring you joy or have special meaning. Invoke positive memories whenever you can.
• There is a saying, “It’s the simple things in life that make me happy.” Find those simple pleasures, no matter how small or insignificant they may be. They are yours to enjoy.
• Laughter is the best medicine, especially for a heavy heart.  Be around people who make you laugh; it’s quite contagious.
• Love yourself; nurture the inner you; love others, and most of all be kind. Greet the doorman in the morning, or give a hug to someone who needs it most.
• Help someone less fortunate than yourself. Volunteer your time at a nursing home or hospital.  When you give, you receive ten-fold.

Remember, what you do affects others.  If you are negative, people will shy away from you. However if you are positive, you will be surrounded by people who wish to be in your company all the time.

Congratulate yourself on jobs well done!

Positive thinking breeds positive results.
Begin your day in a positive manner. Nothing is worse then getting up in a grumpy mood.  It not only sets the tone for the days’ events, but impacts your family as well.  Place flowers around your home; open the curtains and let the sun shine in. Also, add more light to your home if needed.  Light has a direct effect on one’s mood.
Changing the way in which you view life can make all the difference.  Try not to think about the negative aspects, but focus on the positive blessings in your life. Turn off the bad news, and channel your thoughts in the direction of goodness.  It may be cliché, but take time out to smell the roses. 

Give thanks for all you have; and be generous to those who have nothing.

Take a look at the smiles on your children’s faces. Nothing in the world can negatively impact the feelings those smiles invoke. Live life to the fullest and enjoy every precious moment of it. 

Is Your Self-Esteem Letting You Down?

How can negative self-esteem spill over into your life and affect everything you say and do?  Read a little more about my own childhood and maybe find yourself in a little of it…

“My early childhood years were painful, to say the least. Attending elementary school posed many problems. I felt out of place, my parents were not rich and could barely afford the latest clothes and shoes and as in latest clothes I mean last season’s clothes. There was a time when we went to a church that didn’t allow girls to wear pants and my parents made me were long skirts or culottes all the time. I was laughed at; made fun of; and as a result, became extremely shy and introverted.  I would always sit in the last row in class; did not have many friends; and realized soon enough I was not like everyone else. 

While my parents were always telling me how beautiful I was, I didn’t believe it.  Eventually, I withdrew; going through the motions of living a normal life; but not. As a teenager, it was even more difficult to form friendships.  To compensate, I read books; listened to music and thought that if I were intelligent enough, I would be included.  It didn’t happen.  If I attended a high school function, I usually went alone, but was never asked to dance.  I became used to being ignored. I developed a low self-esteem which took over my life for the next thirty years.”-Rebecca White

Low self-esteem can be devastating, especially for children.  If not dealt with, it can spill over into adulthood as described in the story.  It can invade every part of your life; forming friendships; engaging in relationships; taking care of family and home, and decrease the desire to live a full and happy life.

To improve your self-esteem, it is necessary to find the underlying cause.  Professional help may be warranted.  Speaking to someone who can be totally objective can have a profound affect on the path you will eventually take to free yourself from this internal bondage. It takes courage and determination to face your own fears and to seek help. You can be assured; however, once you do there will be no need to ever look back.

It’s time to get out of your own way, and find the truth within. Self-esteem issues can be resolved.  All it takes is one step toward the direction of the light; leave the darkness forever behind you.

If I can do it so can you!  This is what Sister Goddesses Unite is all about.  Being there for each other, sharing our fears, our sadness and then pumping each other up.  Sharing our positives, sharing the good things in life…sure we will all sure pains and hurts but let us step up another notch and be thankful for what we do have.  By us all uniting and being there for each other and praising each other we will overcome all the negative feelings we felt or are still feeling. 

This is my goal with Sister Goddesses Unite.

Rebecca White
 

The Goddess in every Woman

Have you ever wondered why you were made the way you are?

It wasn’t by some accident that you have a cute button nose, or that your feet are huge, or that you have naturally curly hair that is frizzy all the time. God made you just the way you are because he wanted you to be that “one” in a million.Every woman should feel like a Goddesses, a Goddess is someone who everyone looks up to; a Goddess is someone who everyone thinks is beautiful; a Goddess is a woman who loves herself for who she is.

I want you to love yourself as you are. It’s time to stand up for you.Change the way you treat your body!

How can you raise your daughters, your nieces and teach them to love themselves? Isn’t it hard to be a good friend or mom or lover if you are not taking care of yourself and feeling good about yourself? I don’t mean you have to look like a runway model everyday, but there are 5 minute easy things you can do daily to make yourself feel better.

You deserve to feel beautiful inside and out!

Our children learn by our example, not by what we say but by what we do. If they listen to your complaints about yourself daily they too will pick up the poor attitude! Your child may start worrying about their features especially if they look like you and begin to worry and complain about the same attributes.

We need to stop this train of thought now! Below is a little exercise that will help you get in the right frame of mind and help you refocus your thoughts and start acting like a goddess.

• I want you to take one good look at your body, your entire body and love it!
Start with the best feature that you love and work all the way to your toes. Say aloud “I love my body!”
• Push aside all thoughts of what society tells you what you are suppose to look like.
• Walk over to the closest mirror and take a long look at yourself several times a day and remind yourself how great your life is!
• Look at the mirror and say aloud everything you have inside to offer to you, your family and the world. “I am a good friend.”, “I am loyal.”. Say positive phrases aloud!

As you are standing there looking in the mirror are you having a hard time finding something you love?

STOP right there!

Think…what have you heard others say about you? It doesn’t matter who said it, my husband likes my naturally curly, frizzy hair and my eyes, and it took me a long time to accept that fact. I always thought he was just saying that to be nice. I had to learn to take a compliment and love it! When someone compliments you, accept what they say and believe it!

Take a look at some of the most outstanding celebrities in our midst….Bette Midler for instance. The only reason I am using her as an example is because while watching TV the other night I took a good long look at her. According to society rules she should be thin, have a smaller nose, and not be so out spoken; but guess what how she perceives herself is how she outputs to others. Bette loves her life, Bette loves her body and you cannot help thinking what a beautiful woman she is. She is happy with who she is. It emanates from every inch of her body coming out in everything she does.

Be the “Goddess” you were meant to be! Be the example to your family and friends. If you THINK, SEE and BELIEVE the Goddess in you, everyone else will see it too!

Rebecca White is a mother to 3 boys and has been married to her high school sweetheart for 16 years. Rebecca has been dealing with depression most of her life, but a life changing experience that almost cost her the love of her life sent her into a deep depression. Rebecca started an Internet Talk Radio show Heal Yourself Talk Radio  that has weekly speakers helping you learn how to heal your mind, body and spirit.  Rebecca is also the owner of The Health Podcasting Directory. 

Developing a Beautiful Character

Like it or not, your character is plainly written on your face.  Your actual facial expressions are affected by the thoughts you think every moment of every day.  Indeed, the fountain of youth has already been discovered by those with a commitment to developing a kind and wise heart.  It’s accurate to say that beauty starts from the inside out!

 What you think has a whole lot to do with how you look. Your physical body is an external expression of your heart. Since your thoughts and your motives mold your physical appearance, it’s important to think quality thoughts! 

“As a man thinketh in his heart so is he.”   This Scripture is repeated in numerous texts throughout the world.  The person who thinks pure thoughts, thoughts not dirtied by complaining or jealousy, will be the most attractive.  You want to develop the habit of thinking the best about others, looking for the positive even in the most difficult of situations.

If necessary, seek counseling to unravel some of the deep issues that have you chained to anger, shame, rejection, etc.  This healing will allow you to think more clearly and positively.

It’s really not always the handsomest person who’s the loveliest. A lady can have plain and regular facial features, but by thinking beautiful thoughts she may become very good looking. On the other hand, a person with a crabby attitude will have a mouth that droops down at the corners and more wrinkles!

It’s pretty amazing when you think of it – you actually have the power to become more attractive by developing a beautiful character.  And positive character development involves a skill set that anyone can master.  Your fountain of youth rests in your own hands – and heart!

Rebecca White is the host for Heal Yourself Talk Radio.  HYTR was started to help teach others to learn how to heal their mind, body and soul.  Be sure to sign up for the newsletter for weekly inspirations, podcast releases and more.  Visit HYTR today at http://www.healyourselftalk.com

Embracing Your Beauty

For so many women beauty is what we see in magazines and on TV, we don’t pivot on inner beauty or our own distinction.  Don’t roll your eyes and tell me “I know that already” Well do you?

How many times do you go into your bathroom and look at yourself and compare yourself to those women on TV or in magazines?  How many times do you pick yourself apart?  I need to lose weight, I obtain my frizzy hair, my butt needs to be smaller so on and so forth.

What about taking a good suspire look at yourself and see the things you do like about yourself?  Do you like your smile?  Do you like the way your legs look in a skirt?  Does your face light up when you smile?  Notice the things you deify about yourself!  Only when you can honestly say you love you, that is the time you will show others your confidence and your inner beauty.  You will walk with an air of pride because you fancy you!

Renounce listening to the negative thoughts in your head:

I am a failure
I don’t deserve….
I wish I had…
This will never work out….

These thoughts only bring you down!  Find that upper hand* woman upholder inside of yourself the one that tells you:

You are beautiful
You are triumphant
You do deserve this or that
It will work out

Conceive of the negative thoughts as a knarled old tree.  Darkness surrounding it, no animals around, the way the branches are leaning towards the ground and the bark is falling off it.

Then think of the consenting thoughts as that giant oak tree, standing there magnificent, tall and imposing.  The sun is shining behind the tree, the birds are singing and building their homes and the branches are soaring to the sun to meet the day!

Which do you want to be?

Do you remember the old saying “I am woman hear me roar!”  We as women need to stand up and be chic of ourselves, our bodies, our homes, our careers, our choice to stay home with the kids, or our choice to work outside the home.  There is sufficient negative thoughts around us each day, don’t let your own thoughts be another thing to tear you down.

We, as women, tend to give out all our supporting energy to our families and friends and all we are forsaken with is the negative energy.  Many every so often we don’t even realize it till we are sick or tired or wondering where to go next.

When you have negative thoughts go write them down on a piece of paper, walk over to the sink and with a lighter or match and light the paper while saying “I release all negative thoughts and energy. I will only allow positive thoughts to curb inside of me”.

So be proud of who you are, no matter what imperfections you may bear.  Would you want to live in a world were everyone looked the same, acted the same difference*?  I know I wouldn’t.