What You Say Really Does Matter

Have you ever spoken unkindly to someone?

Did the words profoundly affect that person? 

Words are powerful; and when they are used to hurt someone, they can be devastating. 

 The words you speak and the things you say do have a huge affect not only on yourself, but others as well.  Yes, what you say really does matter.

Have you ever called yourself stupid, dumb, idiot?

Have you berated yourself in front of the mirror because you feel fat? 

Do you realize every word you say is being processed by your subconscious and, in some cases, imbeds itself there?  Thus, it begins to seep into your conscious self and the feelings of self-worth begin to dissipate.

What you say ultimately translates into eventual belief.  If you utter to yourself, “I’m not very good at soccer,” you will never succeed in that sport.  You are setting up a defeatist attitude even before you begin.  When you begin a thought or a sentence with a negative word, your expectations can never be realized. 

So too, you may call someone an idiot. While you may apologize, the word has already been spoken; you can’t take it back.  The person on the receiving end of the insult may take it to heart, and can be changed forever.  We live in a world where words are used to attack, cajole, embrace, nurture, disengage, provoke and inspire. We not only hurt ourselves, we hurt others as well.  Anger, frustration, and disappointment contribute to the misuse of words.  Even though the aftermath of unkind words are realized, we still do it.  Perhaps the old adage is true, “If you can’t say something nice, then don’t say anything at all.” 

It is important to realize the affect words have on us. Whether we mean to say them or not, said often enough they can transform the very essence of who we are.  Children are especially vulnerable to words.  Yet, we continue to use unkind and often insensitive words as a disciplinary measure.  Eventually, they grow up with low self-esteem, or painfully shy, or feel they are worth anything at all.

The next time you speak, think about the words you are about to impart.  Choose them wisely when speaking to your peers, and cautiously when speaking to children.  Understand that one word can positively or negatively affect someone’s life; even your own.

Positive Thinking: A Powerful Tool

Have you ever met someone who was so positive about life, you wish you felt that way as well? You can. 

Positive thinking is a powerful tool. 

Our minds control all of our thought processes and can be the catalyst for living a happy and positive existence or live life with a doom and gloom attitude.

Here are several ways to not only improve your mindset, but your life as well.

• If you are faced with a negative thought, change it to a positive one. Remember the movie, “Pollyanna?”  Her father taught her the “glad game.” She encouraged the town to find things to be glad about. Eventually, they did and were happier than ever before.
• Surround your life with positive people. Go to events which bring you joy or have special meaning. Invoke positive memories whenever you can.
• There is a saying, “It’s the simple things in life that make me happy.” Find those simple pleasures, no matter how small or insignificant they may be. They are yours to enjoy.
• Laughter is the best medicine, especially for a heavy heart.  Be around people who make you laugh; it’s quite contagious.
• Love yourself; nurture the inner you; love others, and most of all be kind. Greet the doorman in the morning, or give a hug to someone who needs it most.
• Help someone less fortunate than yourself. Volunteer your time at a nursing home or hospital.  When you give, you receive ten-fold.

Remember, what you do affects others.  If you are negative, people will shy away from you. However if you are positive, you will be surrounded by people who wish to be in your company all the time.

Congratulate yourself on jobs well done!

Positive thinking breeds positive results.
Begin your day in a positive manner. Nothing is worse then getting up in a grumpy mood.  It not only sets the tone for the days’ events, but impacts your family as well.  Place flowers around your home; open the curtains and let the sun shine in. Also, add more light to your home if needed.  Light has a direct effect on one’s mood.
Changing the way in which you view life can make all the difference.  Try not to think about the negative aspects, but focus on the positive blessings in your life. Turn off the bad news, and channel your thoughts in the direction of goodness.  It may be cliché, but take time out to smell the roses. 

Give thanks for all you have; and be generous to those who have nothing.

Take a look at the smiles on your children’s faces. Nothing in the world can negatively impact the feelings those smiles invoke. Live life to the fullest and enjoy every precious moment of it. 

Can You Really Think Yourself Happy?

Believe it or not, it is within your power to create positive thoughts allowing you to accomplish anything you set out to do.  Can you really think yourself happy?  The answer is a qualified yes. Here are the ways in which positive thoughts can help you accomplish many things in life.

Positive thoughts produce positive results.  We can either bemoan our situation, or change it. We can be negative about an event or enthusiastic. President Lincoln once said, “Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.” If you really want to think yourself happy, then make up your mind to do so. It may be difficult to think happy in a world filled with hatred and violence.  But it’s not impossible.  One person, one idea, one positive thought can change society.  How, then, can we make ourselves happy?  By being a constant reminder to others that there is goodness in the world.

1. Seek out positive people to associate with.
2. Expose yourself to all the wonderful books, music and movies available.
3. Find the one important thing in your life that’s important, and pursue it.
4. Show kindness and respect towards others.
5. Live life as if every day is your last.
6. Use positive reinforcement wherever and whenever you can.
7. Use visualization methods to view the positive aspects of life.
8. Speak in a positive tone.
9. Rid your mind of negative thinking with yoga and exercise.
10. Let your expectations reflect your positive attitude.
11. Allow peace of mind to envelop you.
12. Become your own best friend.

There is a wonderful poem which clearly explains how unhappiness can thwart our every desire. 

If you think you are beaten you are;
If you think you dare not, you don’t;
If you want to win but think you can’t;
It’s almost a cinch you won’t.
If you think you’ll lose you’re lost;
For out of the world we find
Success begins with a fellow’s will;
It’s all in a state of mind.
Life’s battles don’t always go
To the stronger and faster man.

Happiness is not a genetic trait we are born with.  It is ingrained in us by our parents and those we love.  It is up to us, then, to maintain it, share it, and build our lives around it.  Think happy, and you will be happy.

Breaking Free From Negative Thoughts

Have you ever had a negative thought? Have you ever uttered it out loud, even in jest?  Most of us have.  More importantly, more often than we’d like to admit.  Negative thinking can be damaging not only to our self-esteem, but can begin a cycle of thought and behavior which negatively impacts our own perception of events in our lives. 

For example: Perhaps you’ve been assigned a special project at work. You’re confident in taking it on, but upon completion you notice one tiny error. You begin to berate the way in which you handled the project, even though the error was not significant. While your boss is telling you what a great job you’ve done, you begin to make excuses for it. Your negativity has minimized the entire project, and magnified one area of it.

What steps can you take to avoid this pattern?  Take a step back and look at the project objectively.  Not only did you complete it in an efficient manner, but it will become the template for future projects. Forget about the mistake; think about what you’ve achieved.

The holidays are approaching and you need to begin the house-cleaning project.  You look around and decide it’s just too much; you can’t do it; why bother.  Stop! Take a deep breath and consider dividing up the tasks. Enlist the aid of your family to help by assigning each one a specific job.  Once you begin the process of prioritizing, you will feel better and it will be accomplished. 

You’ve started a diet before the holidays.  One day, you have a yearning for a particular dessert.  You quickly decide your diet is over, and it wasn’t worth the effort.  You walk over to the mirror and utter to yourself, “I’m fat, and there’s nothing I can do about it.”
Wrong!  Setting yourself up for failure by thinking negatively about the way you look does not solve the immediate problem.  Instead, admit to cheating; promise you’ll try harder, and allow positive thoughts to guide you through it.

Probably the most intensely negative thought processes are experienced by teenagers. Perhaps their life isn’t going the way they thought it would; or they are unhappy with school; or peer pressure has made them act in a way that cultivates anger.  “I don’t want to live anymore,” one might say. While they may not mean what they say; it is still a sign which requires immediate intervention. The thought can become a seed which could germinate into the act itself.

Either through family, friends, counselors or skilled professionals – negative thought can quickly be turned around into positive reinforcement.  It is up to each and every one of us to ensure that any hint of negativity is purged from our thought process; and to avoid imprinting unwelcome thoughts onto our family or friends.